WOMEN SHOULDN’T TRAVEL ALONE!
What? Are you kidding me!? I thought we were living in the 21st Century? It appears that despite the progress that women have made over recent years, there are still many men AND women out there who continue to believe that there are way too many dangers for single women travelling alone.
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In some ways they would be correct, however, there are still many who would prefer to have us women confined to the kitchen. Don’t get me wrong, I love to eat (I don’t cook), but I much prefer to travel. I am a single woman who loves travel and I usually travel alone.
The idea that even in the 21st Century it remains too dangerous for a woman to travel alone is completely foreign to me. I am fortunate enough to come from a long line of independent, courageous women beginning with my grandmother (born in 1915), to my mother (born in 1939), and then there’s me (born in 1960).
These very special women in my life have always encouraged me to follow my own path no matter how difficult, scary or dangerous. I have continued to pass these same characterists and beliefs onto my daughters (born in 1987 and 1988) and finally to my granddaughter (born in 2007).
A BIT OF BACKGROUND
This post stemmed from a discussion that I recently had with a girlfriend. She has been happily married for 34 years and has never really worked outside of the home. Not that there is anything wrong with that. I fully support women AND men who choose to stay home to raise their children and look after their home. It is an extremely tough job, and I have the upmost respect and admiration for those of you who can do it. I unfortunately was not cut out for that.
I do believe though that in this particular case, my friend has not progressed from the 60’s and 70’s with respect to her views on women having the freedom to make their own choices and decisions with respect to the direction their lives will take.
We were recently discussing the current dangers of women travelling alone in certain Caribbean islands. In particular, the rise in crimes against women and the recent increase of rapes and sexual assaults occurring at all-inclusive resorts many of which are being perpetrated by resort employees.
THE STORY
Recently at an all-inclusive resort in Jamaica, a women who was travelling with her husband, was sexually assaulted by a resort employee. From my friend’s point of view, the female traveller made the ultimate mistake of being hungry. The woman went in search of some food, and yes it was after dark. She was ultimately sexually assaulted by an employee of the resort that she was staying at.
THE RESPONSE
My friend’s solution to this danger of being sexually assaulted was “well she shouldn’t have been out by herself”. Are you kidding me!? I was so furious over this remark, and I couldnt believe the fact that these words were actually spoken out loud. Especially since she knew full well that I had been travelling solo for almost 10 years.
Firstly, this woman had every right to walk the resort to get some food, whether during day-time hours or night-time hours, or whether by herself or with her husband. This was her home for the week and she had every right to walk on her own to get food and had every reason to believe that she would be safe in doing so. Afterall she was in a gated, guarded resort.
Secondly, if you have ever travelled to the Caribbean, you will know that many of the islands are dark by 6:30 in the evening. Judging by my friend’s reaction, it became apparent that she believed that one of the dangers of women travelling alone was going for dinner. I guess she thought that we would be better off ordering room service every night.
Once I reminded my friend that I walk alone every single day, whether it be in my home Country or when travelling abroad, the discussion came to an abrupt end. I would like to think that was because she realized just how stupid and sexist her comment was. Unfortunately I doubt that was the case.
How Old Is Too Old To Travel Solo?
How old is too old to travel alone? This too is a topic that I never thought that I would be discussing. Thanks to a young lady who posted on my main page recently….”Aren’t you too old to be travelling solo?” Again, what the hell! I would have loved to sit down and explain to that young lady that it is because of the older women of my generation that the ladies of the younger generation have the freedom that they do.
We could have raised our daughters to stay home, to cook, to clean, but no….we raised them to be strong, independent women who are capable of venturing out into life on their own. So to answer the question, when are you too old to travel solo? The answer is never!
DON’T BE AFRAID TO TRAVEL ALONE
The bottom line is that women should never be made to feel that they are unable to travel alone, or do anything else alone for that matter.
It is true that there are dangers out there and absolutely extra precautions must be taken whenever travelling alone, however, there is an entire world out there waiting for us to experience and discover.
The dangers of women travelling alone are not much different than our male counterparts. Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise. If you want to travel alone, and you have the courage to do it, then go for it! Just don’t do anything that you wouldn’t typically do at home.
END OF RANT …..
Women Support Women
Unfortunately my mom is now deceased, but I continue to thank her each and every day for raising me to be such a strong and independent women. She continued to encourage me right until the end to live my own life and to be dependent only on myself.
Let’s always support each other in our decisions, whatever they might be, and stop tearing each other down. No crime against any person is okay and it is certainly not the victims fault! Period!
For more on solo travel, I know you’ll want to read these posts:
- Where Should I Travel? The Dilemma of a Solo Traveller
- Solo Travel: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
- The Ugly Side of Solo Travel: The Untold Stories
- Escaping Your Comfort Zone
- What I Wish I Knew Before My First Solo Trip
- Self Defense Tips For Female Solo Travellers
- Essential Safety Tips For Female Solo Travellers
I would love to hear your thoughts on the dangers of women travelling alone. Should we, or shouldn’t we? Should we let our fears take over? Should we worry about what others think?
Conversation, discussion and debate is healthy. Passing judgement is not!
SAFE & HAPPY TRAVELS 🙂
Travel Solo Like a Pro!
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PIN AND LET’S START THE CONVERSATION!
Unfortunately, we are an easy target. We always have to be extra careful when travelling alone. Sometimes even when we are in our own hometown. Thanks for the great advice.
That is so true. It’s sad even in this day and age that we aren’t free to do as we wish
My sisters and I were raised to be incredibly independent, self-sufficient women, so I’ve never felt anything other than completely confident about traveling solo! The world needs more women with that mindset (and more men that want a woman like that as a life partner)!
Exactly!. Unfortunately they still want a waitress, cleaning lady and pretty much their mom lol
I’ve been a female solo traveller for decades now – never had any problem, no matter where I went. I hope it stays that way. Anyway, nothing will hold me back from exploring the world on my own.
I hear ya. I’m the same!
Wow. I wouldn’t think twice about travelling alone, and have done so despite being coupled up for most of my life. Actually – I felt much safer in rather conservative Muslim countries, even when there were men about – such as Turkey, Jordan and Palestine. I received a lot more mild verbal harrassment in Morocco and Egypt so I was much more on my guard and didn;t venture out after dark much, which is a shame, because I believe most locals there are friendly and genuine.
That’s interesting. I would have thought Jordan and Palestine would have been intimating. I’m not sure I’d travel there alone.
I think many people are for better or worse, a product of their upbringing. My mother was raised in the 1970s in a Catholic Italian home. Her brothers were always told that the world was theirs, while she was never encouraged to do much of anything beyond becoming someone’s wife and mother. I think my mother would have been ambitious and done a host of things had a single person ever believed in her or told her it was possible for her. I am a world traveler, and while she supports me, she is always on about the danger of traveling even though I don’t travel solo. I don’t blame her for this. She has never had the opportunity to see what I’ve seen and to know what I know. How would she know it’s safe if she’s never done it?
However, she is not pushy or judgmental about women who travel – just nervous. I think there are plenty of women who ARE nasty about women traveling solo and doing much of anything. Even having an opinion as a woman is inappropriate to some other women. Tearing other women down for any reason is such an ugly way to live one’s life. Cheers, what a great post!
I am so thank full for my mom. I was raised in the 60s in a catholic home with 6 brothers. I was always encouraged to be independent.
With you totally! Women should travel alone if they choose to and absolutely take all precautions necessary. There are so many us who are solo travellers and “fear” should not be a deterrent to our freedom to explore. Great post.
Thank you. I completely agree!
This is a very interesting article. As a travel agent, I have mixed feelings about the topic. While I don’t think anyone should be afraid to travel alone, I do think it’s important to be aware of dangers and take steps to try to minimize the risks. Very thought provoking, thank you.
I agree. I’ve travelled alone 99% of the time for 10 years now. Lots of research and plant is key. There are definitely some countries I wouldn’t go to alone because they arent safe.
I love this rant. People treat women so differently than men! They would never tell a man that he shouldn’t travel alone. Safety is all about common sense, not gender.
I completely agree. I can’t get over how old school so many people still are.
There’s still a stigma about woman traveling alone, or going to a restaurant alone. Which is just ridiculous. I went on my first solo backpacking trip in 1996 to SE Asia for 6 months, and although I was nervous and a little bit scared about the unknown, I wasn’t going to let that fear hold me back, and I never regretted the strength it gave me to realize that I could do anything I set my mind to. Travel is an amazing gift ..
I’ve been travelling solo for 10 years now and every single trip I still get an apprehensive feeling before I leave. Once I get to the airport thought I’m fine.
Great post. I agree the key is lots of research! I’m so glad you addressed that the situation was NOT the woman’s fault in any way. We must change the way we talk about sexual assault and it starts by blaming the right person!
I completely agree. It’s so often blamed on the victim
I have traveled alone and I certainly get criticism or “fear” from those im close too, but it’s something im passionate about and don’t see myself every stopping solo traveling!
My kids and my parents are just fine with it. They are use to it as I’ve been doing it for 10 years now, but my friends are still very old school lol
I rarely travel alone but when I do safety is always a big concern. It’s unfortunate but definitely the reality!
It is unfortunately a reality whether travelling alone or just going out in your neighborhood alone. Caution has to be taken everywhere and by everybody.
Wow, I can’t believe you friend would make a comment like that. I think traveling alone is great regardless of gender. I understand precautions, but no one should live in fear of traveling. Do you have any solo travels planned going forward?
Fortunately I got away in February before the border were closed and flights were stopped. I travel solo 99% of the time and have for 10 years now and I haven’t felt intimidated yet thankfully.
I agree with you when it comes to your friend’s “justification” of the event in Jamaica–absurd!! Women, like men, should be free to go about their lives and not feel endangered. I am not scared to do things, including travel, alone. I just try to always be smart about my surroundings.
Exactly! My motto has always been to never do things when travelling that I wouldn’t do at home, and always be aware of your surroundings. I travel solo 99% of the time and haven’t felt intimidated yet.
Good topic. I am a woman, though married, have traveled often alone or with friends my entire life. Being hungry isn’t the issue here. There are bad people all over the world and in this case, one in the Caribbean. Had the lady had someone, not necessarily a man, with her, she may not have had this same experience. Same as swimming alone in the ocean, or diving, etc. , why not bring a buddy.
I’m for people being independent, but smart along with it, too. I would not venture out in a foreign country (and I live part time in one, too) by myself for any amount of money after dark. If I were a black belt in martial arts or packing heat, maybe, but I’m extra cautious. With that being said, I would never think women should not travel alone…just use extra precaution and good judgement. (though this could have happened in broad daylight, too, which is another issue and argument)
I agree with some of what you said. Definately you have to use common sense and not wander around a strange area after dark alone. But in this case, she was at an all-inclusive resort which was gated and guarded. The perpetrator was also an employee at the resort.
I’ve never travelled alone but I agree wholeheartedly with everything you’ve said. Yes, you need to have precautions, pretty much the same as any person, male or female. There are certain things I would never do at home and they carry with me when I travel, even though it’s with either my husband and/or kids.
Exactly. A lot of people tend to throw caution to the wind when they travel. Unfortunately thats when things are more likely to go wrong.
The story of sexual assault in Jamaica made me so sad! It’s disgusting to me that some women in various parts of the world are seen as objects or as property. Hopefully we will see other the world evolving into a safe place where anyone can travel without fear.
Let’s hope so.
It’s important to just take precautions and be careful, whoever and wherever you are. Women can do whatever they want to do! We all have to live our lives.
Exactly! So true!
I love travelling solo as a woman. I pack a healthy dose of awareness, intuition and research wherever I go and find that that works wonders. Despite the news, the world is full of beautiful humans who love to connect with each other. Tragic what happened to that lady. My heart goes out to her and her family.
I totally agree with you. We are never 100% safe no matter where we are but the more aware we are and the more research we do the better chance we have of being safe
I agree with you that solo travel is a great thing to do, for men and women. These days, I tend to travel with my husband but not always. When I look back at some of the solo travel I did when I was younger, I do think I took some risks but I wasn’t completely irresponsible either. I was very cautious of who I trusted and who I spent time with. I never got into trouble, was never robbed or bothered, even though I went to some pretty dangerous places at times. The poor woman who go assaulted was in the wrong place at the wrong time but that incident is not her fault, I can’t believe some people still think that way!
I agree. What happened to her can happen to anybody anywhere. I’ve never felt uncomfortable wandering around a resort
Great article! Unfortunately, there is danger everywhere, from natural disasters to bad people who prey on others. You can choose to hide under your covers and live your life never leaving the house, or you can choose to be as informed as possible and go see the world. I personally believe option #2 is more exciting.
Option 1 is definately not an option for me! Research is key!
Just read this post and totally agree with you. Every female, every male, has the right to travel solo and be safe. If I was afraid to travel the world because of all the dangers, I be a vegetable in my own bed and rot there. I always say use common sense but sometimes that doesn’t always help with the nasty people out there who love to scam us and hurt us. I have had a few problems when traveling alone but luckily was never hurt. I always learn from experiences and pass them on to people who are thinking of traveling alone.
So true Danik. I find the most important thing when travelling solo is to research, research, research and keep your head on straight. People tend to let their guard down when travelling, which can often lead to problems.
First of all, I totally agree and support anyone male or female travelling solo anywhere in the world. I personally lose my mind when people tell me that they are afraid to travel to my home city of New Orleans because they think it is dangerous especially for women.
I tell everyone, the world is dangerous no matter where you live because humans are flawed creatures. But recently I tell everyone about anywhere they travel, especially New Orleans, you don’t have to ever be scared…but you do have to always be cautious!
Now, if I may say something that is a bit weird…while travelling solo as a man, I was wreckless and very “throw caution in the wind” with my travel exploits. However, I do personally struggle with my wild craziness now having my Soon-to-be-wife Darcee by my side. It is like I am in hyper vigilent mode. I wish I wasn’t but she is too valuable to me to put her in any sort of danger. Weird how the human mind works with regards to people whom you relate with.
I totally agree with everything. You have to be cautious anywhere you go and when people travel they have a tendency to throw caution to the winds…like you did. Lol my ex was always very protective of me when we travelled and even when we didn’t. Like you said I think it’s human nature
Thanks for this post! Traveling alone is soooo empowering and I recommend it to so many of my friends! I’ve felt much safer in places like Armenia than I do in my own backyard – so assuming “traveling alone” is the problem is awful. Sexism is the problem!
I totally agree with you. Hard to believe that there is still so much sexism…grrrr.
Agree with you and yes you are awesome 🙂
thank you
I really admire you for being able to travel alone and for your courage to not let incidents like what happened to the woman in the Caribbean – cuz let me tell you, with all the stuff going on in this world, I’m this close to never leaving my house!
Thank you for sharing this with us! Safe travels to you!
lol…..I hear you on that! It is getting more difficult to travel and fewer safe places to travel to. It just means more research and planning.
Totally agree with this post. Jamaica all-inclusive are generally very safe and bad things can happen anywhere. In today’s world everyone – man or woman – needs to know self-defense and always be aware of their surroundings. People shouldn’t be afraid to travel.
I totally agree with You!
Any solo traveller should be confident, plan in advance and be well prepared for their trip. If they do that, there is no need to be scared of going on a trip alone.
http://www.itsasweetsweetworld.com
I totally agree. Research is key
I have always travelled alone. It is almost 20 or more years that I’m doing it and never had issues since last year I went to Morocco where I understood that it was not a country for solo women. It is not about having rights or not having rights but it is about some countries where it is quite hard for men seeing women travelling. It is a male-dominated society where violence against women and the subjugation of women is normale. Let alone seeing them travelling.
Yes….i would love to go to Morocco but it is for that exact reason why I won’t. If I go it will be on a tour
The way you describe your mother, makes me miss my own even more. Like yours, my mum was an independent business owner who made her own decisions and paid her own way. She taught me that I could be and do whatever I put my mind to and passed on her love of travelling to me. Since I am not married, travelling solo has filled my leisure time since I moved abroad. I am from a conservative religious family so when I was younger it may have been frowned upon by the older generation. I must confess I actually enjoy travelling alone even though there are times when I wish I had someone to lift a heavy bag. I also keep my wits about me while travelling so that I don’t become a statistic.
You’re mom sounds like mine. Keep doing what you’re doing xo
So true! I hate that people feel the need to say this to solo travelers! Even if it was true, I’m not going to cancel my trip simply because you think it might be dangerous. you don’t think I did my research? Respect my decision and let me enjoy my trip!
Exactly! I find people are very anxious to put their fears over to me.
Great post – what really bothers me is when others make excuses for why a woman is attacked – “she shouldn’t have went for food” – excuse me?!? would you say the same thing if it was a man, hell no!! (I mean YOU hypothetically!). Fear should never hold anyone back from travelling that’s my belief – otherwise we wouldn’t go anywhere.
I TOTALLY agree and I hear your anger. Same anger I had lol. Obviously my friend knew I travelled solo. What do people expect?! I am amazed people still think like that. My kids and my 87 year old dad think nothing of it so I wasn’t expecting her comment
My husband and I traveled around the world on our honeymoon….We were put in some very difficult situations. I can’t imagine what would have happened had I been traveling alone in some of the 3rd world countries!
I have travelled to many 3rd world countries solo (almost all carribean islands). The key is to research research and research and use your brain. I haven’t run into any issues yet but things can always happen anywhere.
I haven’t traveled solo for pleasure a ton (but I have), but have traveled solo a lot for business trips, I am constantly surprised at what women tell other women they can’t do. We already have men doing that, then you add in the women and it is kind of crazy. I think if you are a man, woman, or child you just need to be cautious and aware, but there is also no getting around that there are just really bad people in the world and things happen! I don’t feel any fear to travel solo and I don’t think any other woman should either!
Andi I totally agree with you. Bad things can and do happen anywhere. My motto is that I don’t do anything abroad that I won’t do at home.
What a great post to read, it is not always easy to travel solo as a woman… You are doing such a great job!
Thank you so much! You are correct. It’s not always easy, but it sure is liberating and rewarding! xo
Girl… Keep traveling solo. I love it and I hate it when getting in taxis or meeting locals and all they can ask you is “where is your husband or boyfriend”. This is a womans world, and we deserve to see it solo if we want.
oh I couldn’t agree more! The worst is when eating at restaurants. Not long ago I went in a restaurant for lunch and she asked ‘for 2″. I was so angry! I said “do you see my friend?” lol
Agree with you here! Having the freedom to travel on your own is an amazing thing, for both men and women, and fear should not need to hold back from that.
I totally agree!
I have never traveled alone before, but I know plenty of women who have and who love it. I love that you address the issue of sexism here and that women have every right to travel alone. Loved reading this interesting post!
Thank you so much. Solo travel isnt for everybody but it is each individuals choice…nobody elses
Urgh. I hate it when people make those kinds of comments. Of course women (well, anyone) should feel free to go to grab a bite to eat without getting attacked. It’s the worst kind of victim blaming to suggest otherwise! 🙁
I agree! And i was so angry! It was the dumbest comment i had heard
Thank you for this and I hope it gets wide circulation. I have been traveling full time, mostly alone for almost four years. I have traveled to dozens of countries in Africa, Asia, the Americas and Europe without a single problem — and I have often gone way off the beaten path. I take normal precautions, stay out of war zones, and I find that often people are looking out for me. It’s probably a little riskier for young women (I began this journey at age 62) — but I remind my friends and family that there is more violence in my own country than most places in the world.
Here is one of my related blog postings:
https://kimmie53.com/2018/01/27/the-painful-loneliness-and-glorious-solitude-of-traveling-alone/#more-9761
I totally agree with you. We always have to use common sense whenever venturing out on our own whether at home or abroad. I was older as well when I began my journey as a solo traveller (50)
I agree with you. I think women have every right to travel alone. It’s sometimes one of my favorite ways to travel.
It’s my favourite as well!
Yes, there can be so much sexism in all of life, but especially around this. It always bothers me too! Sure, there are dangers to traveling alone, no matter your gender, but there are also dangers that come when you’re traveling in a group! You have to be wise, but you also can’t let the fear of “what if” hold you back. Thanks for sharing!
I couldn’t agree more. If we let fear stop us we would never leave the house