How Grief Travel Helped Me Discover Beauty

Most of us have found ourselves in the situation of having to travel during a time of loss.  Whether it be to a city close by or across the country, or even across the world, are we ever really prepared to make this journey?  In this post through my own personal experiences, I will explain exactly what grief travel is, and show you how grief travel really does help us to find beauty again.

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Our heart is heavy, we cry silent tears, the world will never be the same, and often times we feel like giving up.  We wonder, is it really possible to find beauty again?

” It takes strength to make your way through grief, to grab hold of life and let it pull you forward” – Patti Davis

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It is important to note that this article was written from my personal experiences and is not to be taken as professional advice. If you are experiencing profound sadness, depression, or grief, I highly encourage you to seek help from a professional who is trained in dealing with grief and depression.

What is Grief

Grief is the feeling of intense sorrow. So think of grief as an oppressive, intense sorrow. We tend to associate grief with a loved one’s death, however it can also apply to marriage break-ups, death of a pet, loss of a job, our kids going off to college, etc.

Phases of Grief

Professionals tell us that there are 7 phases of grief, which consist of:

• shock
• denial
• anger
• bargaining
• depression
• acceptance and hope
• processing grief

Many believe that every grieving person experiences these phases at some point throughout their grief journey. This is a myth. Not everyone will feel all of these emotions. It is alsoto remember that grief is not a linear process. It comes and goes in waves, in no specific order. No one person feels the same during the grief process. In fact, since loosing my two oldest children, I still have never experienced anger. In many ways, I’ve been stuck in the denial phase.

Does Profound Grief Ever End?

When a person experiences a profound loss in life, the grief will never go away, nor will it get better. As time goes on, the excruciating pain will eventually subside, but it’s always there. Grief will be carried around forever, however, as time goes by, we learn how to cope and live our life around grief.

Does Grief Change a Person

It is important for the loved ones of a grieving person to realize that the person who has experienced a tragic loss will never be the same. There are many ways, both negative and positive, that a person living with a loss might change:

• it’s common to become more irratable
• it’s common not to have the patience for another persons “smaller” problems
• your brain will often become foggy and forgetful
• become more withdrawn. It’s common for a grieving person to feel like an outcast
• some people become more forgiving
• no longer take life for granted
• become kinder
• see the world in an entirely different light

If you know someone who is grieving, it is important to know that it can’t be fixed. All you can do is be there for that person when needed.

How to Cope With Grief

As previously stated, grief will always be with us, however it’s important to find ways to help us along our grief journey. There is nothing that will “cure” grief, nonetheless, there are things that we can do to help us cope:

• seek professional counselling
• meditation
• talking to a loved ones about your feelings
• keep busy, but not too busy that you bury your feelings
• spending time in nature
• allow yourself to feel anger, sadness, etc. Give yourself time to process and grieve
• join a support group
• give your life meaning volunteering or continuing to work
• commit to your health
• remain positive
• travel!

Through my own grief journey, I have found a couple of things that have helped me to navigate the unfortunate journey that I’m on. Grief travel has helped me the most and has made me realize that even though the world seems dark, there is still an abundance of beauty that remains.

Read Next: Forest Bathing is a coping mechanism during periods of extreme grief

What is Grief Travel

Unfortunately there isn’t an “official” definition for the term “Grief Travel”. It is a term that I and others use to describe travel during a time of grief. Grief Travel can help during the coping process for the days, weeks, months, and sometimes even years ahead.

The Beginning of My Grief Journey: My Personal Story

The beginning of my personal grief journey begain in 2018 on the passing of my 25 year old niece.

How I Discovered Beauty Through Grief Travel

The 1st Time I Experienced Grief Travel

During the Christmas holidays in 2018, the weekend before Christmas, I received call saying that my 25 year old niece had passed away.  For the rest of the day and night, I was rendered immobile.  I was in a complete state of shock.  My heart broke for my brother and his wife, and for a young life taken too soon.

The following day I knew that I had to get it in gear as I only had two days to make arrangements to get to Kelowna, British Columbia (a 4.5 hour flight away), for my niece’s Celebration of Life.  I was panicked as the next day was Christmas and I was hosting my family Christmas on Boxing Day.  That left me one day in which to get a flight, get packed, make arrangements for my puppy, and arrange a couple of extra days off of work.

So many things were going through my mind.  Christmas is always the busiest time of year for airlines, transportation, and doggy daycare, not to mention the most expensive time to travel.  I began to worry that I wouldn’t be able to get a last minute flight.

Luckily for me, I am a frequent traveller and I have everybody on speed dial.  I contacted Westjet directly rather than booking online or through my travel agent.  When the agent learned my reason for having to travel, she did everything she possibly could to find me a flight out to Kelowna, and back, at a considerably reduced rate.  It was still more expensive than usual given the time of year, but I did manage to get a reduced rate of around 35%.

Pro Tip: If you find yourself having to book a flight to attend a funeral or visit a critically ill family member, contact the airline directly for a bereavement rate

I eventually found doggy daycare for my puppy (out of the city).  Arrangements were made for my transportation to and from the airport.  I was able to arrange with work to have New Year’s Eve day off.  Now to pack.

Because I am such a frequent traveller, I am usually prepared for last minute getaways.  I typically keep my carry-on essentials packed and ready to go. Since I was only travelling for two days I didn’t have a lot that I had to pack and I was able to travel with just my carry-on.  In less than 24 hours, all arrangements were made and puppy was at his daycare.  I was exhausted, but I was reluctantly ready to take off.

On the day of travel I knew that it was necessary for me to get as much rest while travelling as I could.  Even though the flight itself was only 4.5 hours, with layovers and commuting time I knew it was going to be a 12 hour day.  I also knew that when I arrived at my brother’s house all hell would be breaking loose and people would be coming and going.  I was totally dreading this trip!

Finding Beauty In Kelowna Through Grief Travel

As my flight was descending into Kelowna, my dread turned into complete awe.  I was speechless.  The vast mountain ranges and lakes which surround Kelowna were breathtaking.  I hadn’t yet visited this part of Canada and I had heard that Kelowna was a beautiful area, however, nothing could have prepared for for the beauty that was waiting for me.  It was at this moment that I discovered that I was still able see beauty during my grief.

Kelowna itself is an eclectic city located in the Okanagan Valley in Western Canada, situated along the eastern shores of Okanagan Lake.  The city is surrounded by parks, lakes and vineyards and it is the perfect place to visit for the outdoor enthusiast, like me. 

Kelowna is also the perfect place for artisans as well.  In fact, my brother is an artist living in Kelowna and my sister-in-law owned the local art gallery at the time, which displays artwork created by local residents, as well as artists worldwide.

In order to save money and to make it easier for me to help my brother and sister-in-law, I stayed at my brother’s house, which was located in an upscale subdivision high up in the mountains overlooking the city.

Lake Okanagan was also visible from his home.  It truly was an oasis in the middle of the city, which surpassed any hotel or resort that I could have stayed at.   Because of the mountainous location, many deer and other wildlife frequented my brother’s yard.  They were so much fun to watch as they fed on my brother’s shrubs and lazed in the sunny yard. I couldn’t help but smile as I was enthralled with this sight.  My brother wasn’t impressed that his shrubs were being destroyed lol.

The first full day in Kelowna was my niece’s Celebration of Life, which was held at my sister-in-law’s art gallery, Sopra Fine Arts.  People from all across the globe flew to Kelowna to celebrate my niece’s life.  While it was a time of mourning, it truly was a celebration of her love of life and adventurous spirit. The Kelowna people were full of love and the affection they felt for my niece was truly evident by their words and through their tears.

With my brother always being the ultimate host, on the Sunday after everybody had flown home, we grabbed a coffee from Starbuck’s and he took me on a tour of the area.  We drove the steep hills higher up into the mountains where I felt like I was on top of the world standing mesmerized by my surroundings. 

We stopped at Mission Hill Winery and explored the sculptures scattered throughout the vineyard, while I marveled at the beauty of the surrounding lakes and mountains.  For me, it doesn’t get much better than wine, lakes and mountains all in the same place.  I was completely in my element.

I Realized That Grief Travel Brings Beauty

They do say that the things you dread the most, usually turn out the best.  Even though this last minute trip was heartbreaking, it was the best two day getaway I have ever had.  I can’t wait to return to beautiful Kelowna when I can stay a little longer and explore this fabulous part of Canada even more.

I returned home feeling at peace, with the love and joy in my heart taking over my feeling of loss and sorrow.

How Grief Travel Helped Me See Beauty Again

This journey was truly a life altering experience for me.  For the first time, I realized that it is possible to  find true beauty even when being filled with extreme grief and sorrow. So much so that I have continued to travel whenever I find myself in a place of darkness.

Benefits of Grief Travel

I came to realize that even with the heaviest of hearts, grief travel has many benefits to offer:

• you escape the day to day routine of being at home
• Obligations are left behind
• you have the chance to explore and experience new things
• you meet and see the best in new people
• grief travel makes you realize that tomorrow is not promised, so you should be living in each and every moment of every day
• being away from your everyday day environment provides you with an entirely new perspective on things and the world around you
• you realize that all people are fighting some form of sadness, which can be defined as grief
• you have a sense of freedom
• You become more adventurous
• exploring new things and meeting new people keeps your mind occupied

The Grief Journey Continues

As it turns out, the lessons learned from grief journey would eventually help me cope with my own losses. In 2019, I lost my 35 year old son unexpectedly, and in 2022, I lost my 35 year old daughter.

While processing the loss of two of my children, I once again turned to grief journey, in search of beauty that was lost.

Finding Beauty In Grief Travel

In conclusion, I’m certainly not saying that grief travel will heal your grief or take away your sorrow. Unfortunately the sadness may be carried in your heart forever.   I do know now that it is possible to find beauty again through grief travel which helps as navigate your way through grief in the coming days and years ahead.  You just have to open your heart and your eyes to truly see and experience the beauty surrounding you.

Yours in Travel 🙂

PIN TO HELP WITH YOUR GRIEF TRAVEL